TW: Disordered eating behaviors, diet culture
And let me just say that those plant-based nuggets were absolute heaven. I had zero regrets eating them. I had four, along with some fries, and felt satisfied, so I shared the rest with my husband. Then, I went on with my day.
A couple years ago, this would not have happened.
Let me tell you how things would have gone instead.
1. I would have debated before eating the nuggets, then decide that I could have them since I had worked out that morning.
2. I would have eaten the nuggets and enjoyed the taste, but I’d be freaking out about the coating of grease I felt in my tongue, picturing clogged arteries.
3. I would have eaten nuggets and fries past the point of comfortable fullness, feeling bloated and slightly queasy and beating myself up about eating too much.
4. After finishing the nuggets, I would’ve fidgeted and walked or jumped around, trying to increase my NEAT (Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis)—more on that later. I would also obsessively plan my meals for the next day so they would all be “clean” and “healthy” to counteract the effects of the fast food.
5. The next morning, I would have gone harder during my workout session, thinking of the nuggets I had eaten last night (I didn’t take any rest days back then)
That more or less sums up the process of disordered eating behaviors I had for years (in addition to binge-eating behaviors I had in college).
All this obsession with “clean eating” and excessive exercise only left me burnt out and exhausted. Waking up at 4 am to workout every day, sacrificing sleep, not giving myself time to rest and recover. Obsessively policing what I ate and even what other people ate, unable to enjoy outings with family and friends that involved food. That was the price I paid for a lifestyle that many people praised as “healthy,” not knowing how unhealthy my mind felt.
I was operating from a mentality that I had to earn my food by working out every day. And operating from that assumption only brought me endless guilt, which manifested itself through more disinhibited eating.
Does this sound familiar? If it does, I have something more hopeful to tell you.
I did not stay stuck in that place. Thankfully, I learned about intuitive eating (along with a few basic metabolism facts) to help me out of it.
Fast-forward four or five years, and here is what I wish I’d known then.
Balance is better than perfection
Strength and a peaceful relationship with food take a long time to build, and the only thing that makes the process enjoyable is balance. Giving yourself room for joy, for playful foods, for movement that you actually like makes the journey doable. An “all or nothing” approach will set you up for failure.
Your body is wise and worthy of trust
Diet culture had me second-guessing my body’s wisdom for years. I was turning to fad diets to validate me and tell me what, how much, and when to eat. But once I gave myself unconditional permission to eat and let go of the idea of “clean” eating, I was able to appreciate all foods and make peace with them. I was also able to tune back in to my body’s hunger and fullness signals, trusting my body to tell me what, when, and how much to eat.
“All foods fit”
I have heard this most recently from Shana Minei Spence, RDN (The Nutrition Tea) and I love this approach. All foods fit doesn’t mean we’re going to throw evidence-based nutrition education out the window and eat chips and pastries uninhibitedly. It means that food has context. In the context of a well-balanced diet, enjoying fun foods is beneficial for mental health, fostering social connection, and having pleasure. It also encourages us to embrace our cultural foods instead of demonizing them. We’re more likely to engage in a well-balanced meal when we approach eating from an abundance mindset, not a restrictive one.
You do not have to earn your food, EVER
Food is a basic need, like air and water. You never have to earn it. You simply deserve to eat simply because you are alive, and your body uses so much energy just to keep your lungs breathing, and your blood pumping. And even if you wanted to "earn" your food by working out, you couldn't. Basic metabolism facts tell us that exercise uses up only a tiny fraction of the daily energy we consume. Our energies are better spent using exercise as a means to strengthen our bones and joints, grow our muscles, and improve our mood.
If any of this resonates with you, my program Pancakes & Lift teaches you how to get strong and eat well from an intuitive eating perspective. We lift mindfully and eat intuitively from an understanding that we do not have to earn our food or exercise excessively to see strength progress and feel great. Interested? Click here to find out more.